Persuation Skills

 

The principal purpose of persuasion can be defined as being able to influence or change one’s attitudes, beliefs or values towards a particular subject/object, so that these will merge and finally equal the persuader’s thoughts and feelings.

• Attitude = A predisposition to respond to people, ideas, objects, or events in evaluative ways

Beliefs = The ways people perceive reality to be; our conceptions about what is true and what is false

Values = People’s most enduring judgements about what’s good and bad in life
The objective of persuasion may range from slight shifts in opinion to complete change

in behavior. But, how does one determine whether one’s goals are persuasive? 

 

The goals are persuasive —

• when one seeks to influence an audience’s attitudes about an issu

• when one seeks to influence an audience’s beliefs or understanding about something

• when one seeks to influence an audience’s behavior

• when one seeks to reinforce an audience’s existing attitudes, beliefs or behaviors

 

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Influence

The outcomes of persuasion could be good, bad or ugly depending on the modes of tactics and contexts in which they are employed:

• Ugly influencers push and shove others into decisions. They use intimidation: “My way or no way.” Their style leaves others feeling powerless and resistant to innovation or change.

• Bad influencers might work hard to achieve legitimate and desirable goals, but lack the skills to influence effectively. “Do what I say and not what I do.” This person renders himself unbelievable, provides no model for what should or could be, and is unable to show others how change will benefit them. Their style causes people to feel they are being punished or cutting through red tape, all to please someone who appears ineffective.

• Good influencers get people to focus on an issue that is clearly and simply stated, finds out what the emotional value of the issue is to the people involved, and seeks solutions that satisfy the people who are needed to make the solution work. Their style is to “walk the talk” because what they say is congruent with what they do. Good influencers are effective because they create trust, which enables others to take risks. Their habit of communicating, informing and including others builds loyalty.

 

1. Repeat points___

2. Get louder___

3. Use more forceful language___

4. Talk at great length___

5. Become insulting___

6. Spell out the logic of your arguments___

7. Interrupt objections or explanations of the other person ___

8. Immediately argue against objections ___

9. Accuse the other person of improper motives for resisting or disagreeing ___

10. Ask loaded (rhetorical) questions (“Don’t you think...,” “Why would anybody...?” etc.)_

11. Pout, look hurt or exasperated, etc.___

12. Bring up past (related or vaguely related) incidents or non-compliance___

13. Empathize or sympathize (“I can see what you mean...,I’d feel the same if I were in your position.’’) etc. ___

14. Listen to each point or objection___
15. Speak enthusiastically, but without “railroading” or overwhelming the listener ___ 16. Watch your own body language to avoid signals of aggression or wimpiness

17. Be brief in making your points and stop often to check for concurrence with your listeners ___

18. Watch the other person’s body language for signs of disagreement___ 19. Ask focused questions aimed at:

• -  unearthing all obstacles or objections, including those, the other person is trying to hold back for various reasons___

• -  finding conditions under which agreement would be possible___

  Evaluation: If you have many ratings of 1 or 2 for items 1-12, you’ll benefit greatly from working on your persuasion skills and attitudes. If your 1 and 2 ratings occur more in items 13-19, you have sound habits that should give you a good chance of persuading people to your point of view.

  Source: All About Communication, International.

Ten Tips to Effectively Influence Others

1) Set an outcome for what the other person will do, if you are successful in influencing him/her.

a) Flush out in detail what would really be ideal for you - even if you think there’s no way that ideal is possible. At a minimum you’ll know your own goals, and you are likely to get closer to them than you think.

b) Consider the other person’s outcome(s). Are there ways you can include their goals in your proposal? What are the benefits and costs to him/her in doing what you want? Are there ways to enhance his/her benefits and/or lessen his/her costs that could still get you what you want?

2) Aim high when you make the first suggestion(s). Suggesting that he/she does even more than you might really want gives you room to lessen your suggestions, and makes it more likely you’ll get closer to what you really want in the final agreement.

3) Be congruent, and confident as you communicate. Other people usually notice (not always consciously) your body language and voice tone, so if you’re uncertain in making suggestions, it’s likely that will come across.

In other words, be as certain of yourself and your suggestions as you can possibly be. This doesn’t mean you need to be demanding or argumentative. It does mean that you present your position and/or requests as if you are certain that this is what you want. A quiet, solid, clear confidence is often your best attitude.

4) Consider your long-term relationship with this person or people.

What impact will the results of this interaction have over time? What will your relationship with him/her be if your suggestions are implemented? What will it be like if the suggestions are not implemented?

5) Begin where they are, that is, acknowledging that they have a particular

perspective that makes sense for them. This is best done by considering their

mood and/or attitude, as well as the particular position he/she may have at the beginning

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of the discussion.

6) Consider the larger context. What factors might make it difficult for the person to do what you want? Can you develop some ideas that would minimize these difficulties, or better yet, turn them into advantages for him/her?

7) What might you be able to give the person ‘no strings attached’? This can be information, and need not be anything physical (such as a gift). Giving something can be a good move towards developing a favorable context, a move inviting reciprocity but be perfectly willing to have your ‘gift’ taken, without expecting anything back. So, it needs to be something you can give freely.

8) Be clear on what you would get if this person agreed to your request. That is, what would you benefit of influencing them so that you get your outcome?

One way to determine your benefits is to ask yourself “What would have this done for me?” When you get the first answer, ask yourself the same question about that answer. You may determine a wider range of options that would satisfy you. This gives you more flexibility in making suggestions and/or requests from the person.

9) Are there any changes you could make to the environment that would make it more likely for the person to agree to your request?

This is intended as a thought provoking question, i.e. to get you to think about factors you might not ordinarily consider. For instance, there’s some evidence that people are more likely to accommodate requests when they are eating (associating a pleasant activity with your request). Hence the number of business deals that are completed over lunch.

Another environmental factor when influencing someone is to consider whether to discuss an issue on the phone, in person, or by e-mail. In many cases, you will get a very different response to the same request, depending on how it is made.

Thinking of the environment in a slightly broader sense, for instance, could you, persuade a colleague of the person to, say, be more cooperative. Perhaps this increased cooperation would make it easier for the person to take your suggestions.

10) It goes without saying, of course, that when you are successful in influencing, you’ll certainly live up to the agreements that you’ve made - both during and after the ‘influence time’. These agreements should be implemented as the other person understands them. This requires you to verify that your communication has been understood in the same way you intended it.

The benefit to you is a long-term business relationship, in which you have established your reliability and in which you request the same. Atmospheres in which you trust one another makes better business sense for all.

A person may use this as a checklist before an attempt to influence some one else, decide to go through the list and choose which would be the most useful in a particular situation, or use it as a test of which items could be missing from an ongoing attempt at influence.